7 Tips for Success in Life by a researcher and expert in emotional intelligence – by Doron Lerer
All of us, at every stage of our lives, are looking for how to succeed, how to “climb the wave” and climb as high as possible. In order to reach success and conquer the summit, we need to overcome a number of obstacles and challenges, most of which are not external, but rather related to the way we perceive ourselves and the emotional intelligence in which we are gifted. Dr. Travis Bradbury is a researcher and expert in the field of success and emotional intelligence who has studied and studied more than a million people and found that those who were considered to be the most successful were those who were characterized by high emotional intelligence, the ability to adopt the challenges they face and overcome the obstacles on the way. The following tips are based on Dr. Bradbury’s conclusions, which can help you understand how to change your mind in a way that will guide you to success on the way the best.
1. Remember that age is just a number
Remember that successful people really do not let their age dictate who they really are or what they can do. Shimon Peres late was proof eternal that throughout his life, at age 30, took over the management of the Ministry of Defense of the young state, and at the age of 90 still served her country as a citizen number 1. Csahod Brk retired from politics at the age of 70, Peres asked in amazement: “at this age spread” and expressed his remarks the opposition to everything we are used to thinking: There is no age at which to stop the fire and there is no age where you can not succeed. people tend to tell you what you can do or not do your age, and what you can do even “People who have no fantasy do not do fantastic things,” said Peres, and that is the main secret to success. In a big way and realize not mess age. Successful people are those who follow their hearts and let passion and burning desire them, and their age, to lead them.
2. Stay away from negativity and negative people
Life does not always advance in the way you expect, but when things go wrong with you, do not get depressed and fall melancholy. Know that you have the time, just as everyone else has, to correct, improve and get things to happen the right way. Successful people know how to calculate the time in this world, and instead of spending it on the sit and complain about how things could or should look like, they overlook what they have and what achieved so far as they find appropriate solutions to their problems and deal with difficulties.
And it’s not just between you and yourself. If you encounter a negative attitude on the part of people who complain about everything regularly, it is important that you simply stay away from them. Think about it this way: If the serial complainant is a smoker, would go out with him all a smoke and breathe the smoke he exhales passive smokers? Of course not! You would stay away from him while he smoked, and that’s exactly what you need to do with those who spread negativity and make you think bad things about yourself. Instead of agreeing automatically with their words and thinking that the blame is on you, just ask them like this: What would you do to solve the problem? That way you can silence them, or at least make them direct the call to more efficient and positive places.
3. Avoid comparing yourself to others
When your self-image, your happiness or your own disappointment, comes solely from your comparison with others, you no longer control your destiny. It may be very difficult to stop completely thinking about what others think of you, but you do not have to attribute your success or failure to certain things to anyone other than yourself. You should relate to others’ opinions with the correct degree of importance, not too much, and not too much. Only in this way will you understand that it does not matter what others think, say or do, your self worth should not be affected.
Successful people know that worrying about what others think can be a waste of time and energy. When successful people feel good about what they do, they will not let any negative opinion or thought of others drag them down. It does not matter what others think of you at any given moment, something else must be safe for you – you will never be as good or as bad as others think you are, only as you think of yourself.
4. Connect with people who bring out the best in you
Following the previous tip, note that just as you should know who to stay away from, you should also know who to approach. A well-known saying among successful people is: “You are the total number of people you surround yourself with.” Look at some of the best known companies in the world, and you’ll be surprised to see that they were created by people who were friends long before they founded their company: Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, who founded Apple together, grew up in the same neighborhood. Bill Gates and Paul Allen, who brought Microsoft to prominence for the first time in elementary school, and Sergey Brin and Larry Page, who are responsible for the establishment of Google, met at the college where they studied together.
The peak of success in your life can only be achieved if you surround yourself with the right people who can elevate you, along with them, forward and up. The people around you can be the root of your problems if you approach them badly (as described in the previous section), but also the root of your success, if you know how to cooperate together. The bottom line is that there is nothing to do. To succeed, you have to choose carefully those people with whom you “go to war” and can help you win.
5. Do not be afraid of fear
One thing that is important is that you know about the fear, and especially about the fear of taking a step forward, making decisions and doing things: it is a personal feeling, which is mostly fueled by our imagination. When you feel that you are in danger, it is likely to be real emotion, but when you feel fear, it is much more about your choice than in reality. Successful people know this better than anyone else, so they turn fear into their backs and become addicted to the sense of transcendence that comes after they have conquered their fears and performed the right action.
6. Do not regret the past and do not fear the future
Just like fear, our past and future are mainly products of our thoughts and self-perception. After all, there is not enough sorrow and guilt in the world that can change the past and turn the clock back, and there are not enough anxieties and worries that can really affect the future. Successful people know this, and they focus on living the present, the moment, the here and now. It will be impossible for you to take full advantage of your abilities if you regularly think of something else in your past and can not appreciate and cherish the present moment.
To live the present and be successful, you need two things:
A. Accept your past: If you can not live in peace with your past, you can never release it, and it will negatively affect your future. Successful people know that the only reason they have to look at the past is to understand how far away they are and how far they have gone to get where they are.
B. Recognize that your future is not known and is not predetermined: Do not assume false assumptions about yourself or what you are expecting. Concerns about the future have no place here and now, all you have to do is take care of yourself now. Mark Twain, the famous American writer once wrote: “Concern for the future is like paying off debt that you did not accumulate.”
7. Focus on yourself and what you can control
The news in Israel is always burning, and there is always a feeling that the government is collapsing, the economy is crashing, war is breaking out and the end of the world is coming. But successful people do not worry about it because they are not trapped in thinking about things that are beyond their control. Instead, they focus their energies on two things that can determine their fate: their attention and effort. They focus their attention on all the good things they have accumulated so far, and their efforts are focused on doing what can improve the lives and lives of those around them. So even if everything around looks bad, focus on your world and things you can do. Commit to these actions and you will see that not only do you have success in your life, but that the whole world is changing for the better because of you.